Sunday,October 27th, 2013

I know I should be happy. I should feel loved. That's what I wanted, right? That's what I needed. I should feel better. But I don't. I feel like the same useless, unlovable, waste of space I've always felt like. Extreme happiness causes extreme sadness. Good moments cause bad feelings. Opening myself up to someone causes me getting more broken and empty. History repeating itself. Have I become so broken, completely out of touch with my feelings that I have closed all doors and oportunities for a chance of happiness? Is this not it? I cringe at the thought of my last chance turning out to be no chance at all.